To read about the first year click here. To read about next phase click here.

Our newest victim, errr, family member	WTF???? Please order me pet antidepressants	Trying to train it to play fetch	What to do with the children on a Sunday	The Taj Mahal
		What to do with children who knock on their door all night

Sunday June 5th 2005

Hey we got ourselves a rabbit!

This is nothing less than a desperate attempt to catapult ourselves into the Parenting Hall of Fame. See our kids love bunnies (they also love chickens and pigs but you have to draw the line somewhere) so foolishly we have decided to get them a rabbit. Not just any rabbit, but a gender confused cross-bred - can't remember the breed names, rabbit. The rabbit has been named Zoe-Costa. When you get two almost 4 year olds together to choose a name they have little regard for gender or niceties and have joined their choices together. Zoe-Costa is a boy but we pretend it's a girl. Really, it's all too confusing.

Our track record with pets hasn't been good of late. Something to do with the life-changing catastrophic event of the arrival of Kate and Aiden. Pre-kids we had 3 very spoilt and loved cats. Now we have one sole survivor (who unfortunately doesn't get to win the million) Itchy who walks around the house sighing and wondering what they are going to do to him next. Our visitors always comment on what a loving pet he is (with a sideways, judgmental look at us because obviously we neglect him), within 5 minutes of Itchy clambering over them, desperate for attention they are yelling for mercy and happily allow us to throw him out the door. All-in-all Itchy is a great, tolerant cat and Kate and Aiden love him.

The first cat of the three to fall was Snitzel, my obese, fluffy baby. Very spoilt and very arrogant. Now in order for Snitzel's demise not to be totally blamed on the birth of K and A, we did notice that all of our electrical paraphernalia kept shorting out before we had children and upon investigating we discovered an ocean of cat piss behind our system. How utterly revolting and of course we blamed Looney because, well we blamed Looney for everything....but more on that later. When the kids arrived the pissing got worse and we would catch Snitzel doing it. In the end he was pissing on the stove, the kitchen bed, the kids toys, on all our bags.....yeckkkk EVERYWHERE. After a bout of cat antidepressents and a consult with an pet psychiatrist and ONE WHOLE YEAR of putting up with the pissing we got him put down. Well, to be honest, I made Mum do it. We got to put away the disinfectant and moved on to life with 2 ridiculously demanding babies and two displaced refugee cats.

Then several years later good old Looney had to be put down. Looney was a cat who I had adopted at 12 weeks of age, having had been raised by some native children, when I was doing my teaching stint in an outback town, By 12 weeks of age she was well and truly entrenched in her bad habits and Looney was a suitable name. I was sharing a house with some other teachers and we were standing around chatting when Looney went sliding by smack-bang on her butt, pulling herself along by her front legs with her back legs up in the air. "I think your cat has worms," said my colleague.

She was also a good cat because she would travel in the car with me when I returned back to town for the holidays. Anyway one day Looney filled up like a hot water bottle so I took her to the vet who said that filling up like a hot water bottle, whilst being a good party trick, wasn't conducive to, well, living so I had her put down. It was a very sad moment for me because she was my companion through some tough times.

So now we have Itchy and Zoe-Costa. It's taken Aaron 4 weeks to build the Taj Mahal of rabbit hutches. Z-C arrived today and has used the old play pen. This way we can contain both her and the children so they can entertain themselves for hours on end whilst we lay around watching soaps and eating chocolate. Itchy can be found rocking in the fetal position in the corner.

Z-C has spent most of today eating the grass, as in non-stop eating the grass. My rabbit knowledge is very limited. Do they have an "off" switch in regards to eating or will she/he/it be the size of a small dog by next weekend? We have purchased some pea straw to put in his/her/its bed. Will she/he/it eat this too? Oh the questions, the questions.

Hopefully she/he/it will survive the night.

Onto a few other matters:

Our children still wear pull ups to bed. It is highly likely that they will still wear pull ups to bed for the next few years. Why? Because it SUCKS to have to change a wet bed at 3am. Think about it......a nice night's sleep or getting up to completely strip and change 2 beds. Every now and then they pull the old, "I'm a big kid I wear undies to bed." "NO you are not you are not a big kid." End of story.

Kate has learnt the art of "The Threat". Uncle Randy bought them an Alphabet bug/snake thing which they adore and they have trouble sharing.

After much arguing we threatened, "We will take Alphy away if you can't share."

"I'll bang on my door all night then," says she. (See "pull ups" for how much this thought distresses us.)

The oven timer is our new best friend as it allows children to have their turn. Everything they throw at us, we have to come back with a strategy.....it's a careful dance where you tinker on the edge of sanity, particularly with a two-pronged attack. Thank God for oven timers, cartoon videos, junk food and play cafes. We wouldn't have made it this far without them.

A day out with Daddy!	Kissing her favourite boy Liam	An early cousin party	Kate got a care bear from her cousins	Hanging out with friends
A PROPER haircut!!	Side view	Whoooooooo!	Kate with her friend Jas	Building the rabbit hutch with Daddy

Monday May 30th 2005

We've discovered a way to manage our children's behaviour - sticker charts! They have one for eating dinner (and brushing teeth and getting ready for bed, all rolled into one), sleeping and Aiden has a Poo chart. In the future I can just see them negotiating their wage package, "I want a car, a phone, 5 weeks holiday a year and a sticker chart"

Now speaking of poo.....Aiden hasn't had an accident for weeks now! The kids' humour is developing and they have hit the stage where they find poo funny.

"Kate what would you like for lunch?"...."POO!"

Reading a story, "B for....?"..."POO!" says Aiden.

"I spy with my little eye something that starts with L"...."POO!" comes the jovial joint reply.

I fear it will be years before this phase ends.

At Kindy I have joined the Council and foolishly volunteered to write a huge draft Health policy. I hope that because of my willingness to help and sacrifice my time that Aiden will no longer be thought of as the boy who pooed his pants but rather "that Aiden with the helpful mother". I draw the line at actually staying and helping during Kindy sessions, I'm out of there so fast I knock people over at the gate.

Speaking of Kindy, I met with the staff last term to explain about the invisible umbilical cord that causes Aiden to fall apart and screaming like he is being slaughtered whenever I leave him. They smiled indulgently which caused me to reiterated how horrendous it can be and that they may have to prise him off me, possibly causing me to bleed and lose a limb due to his clinginess. Come first day of me dropping them at Kindy......I am standing at the sandpit trying desperately to get Aiden to wave and acknowledge my leaving. Oh well hopefully that policy I am writing will alleviate the bad, "neurotic over-wrought mother" image I created.

If you are driving somewhere and you see a slightly harassed lady driving along with what looks like an invisible friend wearing a seatbeat alongside...that's me. In my passenger seat I usually have a teddybear who has been buckled in so he won't become injured in an accident. Sometimes I forget to get him out of the car when the children leave....so often I arrive at work with Teddy and I safely intact. Oh well it beats my earlier party trick in the staff room where I am able to reach into my handbag and pull out a variety of teething rings.